My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
