But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
