Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize