She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
