I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
