i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
