Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
