belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
