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There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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