I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
