Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
