no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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