walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
