Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
