I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize