I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
