I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize