i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
