and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
soo... how was my night?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
