Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
