Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
