Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
