You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
