you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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