It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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