I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
