I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
