just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
