well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
