i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
