I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
