Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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