And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
