we have officially lost it.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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