mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
