there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
