he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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