Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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