Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
