let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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