i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We were destined to go to rehab together
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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