we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize