I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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