I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
