We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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