it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
