just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
