I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
