maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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