i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
