So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
