summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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