Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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