ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
