I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
