come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
