If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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