Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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