I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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