I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
