I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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