Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize