Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
