how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
