News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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