she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I am spending my child support on dildos
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
