if i can run in heels then i can drive
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
